I will lie to you. I will steal from you. I will take all that you have to give. I will manipulate you and I will rationalize, justify and minimize my addiction. I will make you think you’re crazy, I’ll make you second guess yourself. I will spin your world wild and you know what – you will let me because you love me and you will enable me to death.
Welcome, welcome to your reality. Welcome to your wake-up call. It’s a new day, a new dawn and what’s about to change is you. For days, months and most likely years you have put up with a loved one whose addiction problem has you held hostage.
Now before you throw up your denial flag, tell me your situation is different. That I cannot possibly understand. I ask you to humor me for a moment while I describe the personality traits of the alcoholic, addict.
The alcoholic addict is generally intelligent, articulate, charismatic – they have rapid cycling minds and are perfectionist by nature. Their world is black or white, all or nothing. When they find alcohol, drugs, etc. they find something that makes them feel normal. The world finally looks the way it always should have. 
Euphoric experiences, yes it is a new reality, illusionary, yet a very real reality, a euphoric existence that lodges itself in the subconscious mind.
Initially, this existence promotes one’s energy, relaxes the rapid cycling thoughts, and creates a positive outlook. It’s a rosy world through the eyes of the addict. But the very same characteristic traits that drove one to self-medicate to find relief are the traits that begin to destroy one and take them into a far flight from reality.
Their once beautiful world becomes their hell. Isolation and depression set in. Erratic behaviors are common, sometimes they’re high, sometimes they’re low, forever in search of what once was. Their subconscious mind, however, stays locked on that one thought – how am I ever to feel as good as I did when I first experienced that euphoric high, when the world was mine, my very own beautiful world.
The addict gets to the point that they can’t live with it and can’t imagine life without. It’s sad, but true, and as husbands and wives, as moms and dads, as brothers and sisters, we want to believe them when they tell us, “I can stop.” “I’m gonna mellow out a little bit.”
And the promises and the apologies, the laughter and the tears, but hey, we’re family, we’re gonna help. What do you need? And that’s where the line gets drawn. Asking an addict what they need – well you might just want to say run over me, break my heart again, because that’s what they’re about to do, and the damn truth is, you let ’em. You let them because you love them, you believe them.
Once again they have worn you down. With no more fight left in you, you succumb to the illusionary hope that maybe this time something has changed, knowing deep down inside, nothing has. So the merry go round continues. The carousel of life as you know it continues to turn; horses of different colors bob up and down, they go ‘round and ‘round, and the funny thing is, you have memorized them all.
You may feel this is an odd description, but think about it. If all the horses on the carousel represent a type of behavior or one type or another of an excuse given by the addict, have you not seen each one many times pass by you, only to know exactly what comes next? Yeah, I thought so.
This book is not meant to put you down or beat you up. God knows you’ve been through enough. I know you’ve been through enough. I know because I’ve been the addict and the enabler. I have talked with literally thousands of families across the country and although it seems much has been written on the subject, I have found these writings unsatisfactory.
So sit back, enjoy the journey of self-discovery. Let what God has given me help you and the one you love. Let’s get off this merry go round. There are other rides in the park.
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