Sometimes I’m so high, I can’t find myself. Sometimes I’m so low, I can’t see myself. My emotions are like a disappearing act. Sometimes I’m aware how I feel and it’s just magical. Other times I feel suicidal, but I’m afraid to die. The problem is I’m so afraid to live. My magical disappearing emotions have me on a continuous roller coaster ride. So I ask you to ride with me, the heights we will experience will amaze you and the depths may very well kill you.
Everyone Feels Emotional Highs And Lows
I remember one night back when I was going to college pursuing my doctorate, that I was giving a presentation on bi-polar disorder. As I was explaining the different stages of emotions, both high to low, I asked if anyone ever felt that way. Every student raised their hand. It was kinda funny, but so true. As people, in the human condition, we experience all the feelings and emotions in the spectrum of bi-polar disorder.
There are times we’re elated and times of great sadness. Normal people, like most of the students that night, handle those emotions fairly appropriately. It’s just part of life, and generally most find themselves somewhere in the middle with their internal compass pointing north. There’s a balance. Not so with the addict afflicted with true bi-polar disorder.
How Addiction Mood Swings Can Mimic The Signs Of Bi-polar Disorder
Now most families and the loved ones of an addict are sure bi-polar figures into the equation. I hear that all the time. This is because anyone who is ingesting drugs or alcohol into their system on a consistent basis is going to have erratic mood swings. Sometimes the alcoholic is so high, their compass pointing north; they speak of great dreams, like castles in the sky. Other times, the depths of despair set in, generally when their plans don’t work out or people disappoint them.
The alcoholic or addict wants to run the show and direct all the players. When everyone or the world cooperates, it’s great and when they don’t the internal compass begins to point south as the castles fall from the sky. All drugs eventually end up being a depressant and most alcoholics or addicts end up being victims of a world that has wronged them.
Properly Diagnosing An Addict’s Emotions
If the alcoholic is lucky enough to get sober, many times it is found that indeed there is a chemical imbalance. Bi-polar is a wide spectrum of emotions and often times can be narrowed down to a depression or anxiety problem and therefore treated appropriately. Other times a diagnosis of bi polar disorder is accurate and can be treated as such.
Coming Soon – Chapter 8 – Part 2
The post Enable Me To Death | Chapter 8 – Part 1 appeared first on Laguna Beach Recovery.